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"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'I discovered my marriage was based solely on trust - the $450,000 trust fund my grandparents left me.'

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'It would have been easier to prove your father was of sound mind when he wrote this will if he hadn't written it on the headed notepaper of the psychiatric hospital in which he'd been sectioned.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"The kids are at that age when they'd really like to know our net worth."

'I'll read the will.' - 'I don't like the look of this.'

'As I was saying, in all my time as a stockbroker I've always put the interests of others first. How much did you say you stand to inherit?'

'There is no million dollar inheritance. We just put out that notice to locate the missing heirs.'

'... And to Mable, I leave whatever was on the trap at the time of my death. '

Mother and child riding a DNA rollercoaster.

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

'One of these days this will all be yours and by then it should be making a profit.'

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

God changes His will.

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'