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"He's left his will to another law firm."

'No...no money... but he did leave you his Forever Stamps.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

OOG & SONS HUNTING & GATHERING

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'He's got your nose.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Gone Fishing

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs (or bases), illustrating genetic inheritance within the family

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

'Nuts, nuts, nothing but nuts!' When Squirrels Search Their Family Trees.

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

Mother and child riding a DNA rollercoaster.

Man: 'My family tree is infested with termites.'