Ingredient Imaginer Pillows

Eye of Newt Helper

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'Diet considerations.'

Creative family

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'Sure, I cam up with fire, and the wheel, but you're only as good as your last idea.'

"Would you turn off the invisible fence? My invisible friend can't get in to play."

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

"Take us to Lady Gaga."

"Sure it doesn't look much right now, but in a few million years this place will be one of the wonders of the world..."

"Where do you see yourself in the next twenty minutes at 375 degrees."

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

Secret Family Recipes

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

God working clay on a potters wheel creating a vase with a person's arms and legs sticking out.

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

Kitchen Consultations

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...