Information Investigator T-Shirts

"Now THAT's what I call data-scraping."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

Christopher Isherwood

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'