Infomercial Fanatic Pillows

'Act now and you'll get this slicerdicer absolutely free! But wait, that's not all...'

"My technique for convincing mom of anything is based entirely on infomercials."

'Stop watching all those rags to riches infomercials. You've caught the investment bug.'

'Don't you have anything better to do than watch super wonder bra infomercials?'

"Baldo, it's 2 in the morning...and you're watching an informercial on a belt that melts away flab? Please...go to bed."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Star Wars vs Star Trek

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"Baby, with your money and my money, we could really buy places."

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'

Ok, I'll put in the hundred thousand for a 50% share of your St. George franchise.

"I got it in the sales."

'Here's your lemonade and here's some descriptive literature about my franchising opportunities.'

"I'm a soul trader."

Choosing What To Wear.

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

'Now that's what I call a beautiful fit.'

So it's a short back and sides, but leave the horns!

"I like what you've done with your apartment and your clothes."

'Our Monday night '90-off wine night' isn't exactly working wonders for Tuesday thru Saturday.'

"I didn't realise it was a formal do."

And if it's successful, we'll do an infomercial.

The trouble was she never knew where to draw the line

Too Much?

'My barbie's got a hot date she needs some slag-rags.'

After deliberating on the topic for weeks, I've decided to grow out my toenails. Why? My mane of hair is lustrous and thick. My musk is overpowering. My muscles, toned. Primal. Sinewy. My chest hair is coifed and glistening. But I can't rest on my laurels. The only way to maximize my animal magnetism at this point is to grow talons. I'm a victim of my success. And here I was worried about world peace.

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

Movie Franchise

Shopping Torture