Inflated Egos Analyst Pillows

'I took the liberty of digitally enhancing my resume to make a mountain out of a mole hill.'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"It's his ego growth chart."

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

Alabama Traffic Jam

'You've come a long way with your anger this year. In fact, I feel that you are ready to meet a special friend of mine...'

'The Neurosis Pack.'

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

'Steady...here he comes...wait for it, wait for it...'

'Nothing has come to my attention today and I want to know why.'

"You know what they say...'The desk makes the man.'"

"And how long till they start saying the 'Great' after my name."

"It's not what you think."

'Oh GREAT, a DARN PUNKTURE!'

"I hear you're something big in the city?"

Somewhere in France Gertie Anne Grapples With An Idee Fixe

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

'Your ego seems to be your primary problem.'

'And what a horrible little package.'

"Fake."

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

"Actually, these are more valuable than the golden ones now."

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

Royal Mail Privatisation

"There's a worry that if we impose rules on hedge funds they may leave the UK..."

'In my humble opinion... wait, did I just say that?'

'Our rivals have issued a big profit warning, so we'll issue an even bigger warning.'