Inefficiency Observer Gifts

Job Creation Department - Door in need of a handle

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'See here, Flanigan ? what's this I hear about you going over my head to the computer?'

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

'Would you please wipe away this difference?'

'This isn't the meeting. This is the pre-premeeting to talk about when to meet and plan the meeting.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

"Hey, it's me. I just sent you a text message responding to your e-mail saying that I should IM you."

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

We Sell Chinese Stocks - Management is not responsible of you feel greedy again in an hour.

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

Physics toy.

'Good news, Perkins! We're finally getting an automatic postage machine!'

"I know, I know... But I thought he would bring down the price of eggs."

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

'I was married to my job, until I recognized it as a co-dependent relationship.'

'It's amazing, you've been here 8 hours and haven't set off the motion detector I set up in your work area.'

"It's from our 'Time Management' trainer. He's double booked and can't come!"

"As an efficiency expert I can with great certainty point to one inescapable fact. You guys aren't."

I can remember before e-mails when it would take me TWICE as long to waste HALF as much of their time

Will work for question marks.

Gas Prices

Mary got more work done when she replaced her phone receptionist with a parrot who asked callers if they minded being put on ignore.

"One day son, all this will be yours."

'We did consider furniture, but this way is just so much easier to vacuum.'

"The consultant recommends we sleep on it."

'We're down here to see how other company departments including shipping function.'