Indoor Jungle Enthusiast T-Shirts

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

"I know we don't have a garden, but I panicked!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

"Hey Scout, isn't ice fishing great?"

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

James decided to stay in that night.

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

'Dear, could you hold it down to a light snow flurry?'

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Jungle Games

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

"Tarzan no want computer."

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

Please excuse him, he's intent.

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

"We call it, 'Green meadows' because that's what it was before we decided to build on it."

Cat being licked by plant.

Staycation Photos

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

Clock Face Golf Set

Hold on Cutlet! We have to get past Mom's waxed floor!

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."