Indie Film Enthusiast Gifts

Goldilocks at Sundance.

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Homeless man's sign: 'Will sell book & movie rights to the story of my downfall for a cool million.'

"You're going out there an annoying, mannered girl, but you're going to come back an indie queen."

"I wasn't in the mood for exquisite observing."

Duplass Brothers

Koyu Rankin and Liev Schreiber

"It's a niche movie. Then there's a car chase, and – bam – mass market."

'Thank you for coming out to support our independent film. In the spirit of independence, we don't need you. Get out.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Comedy Cafe

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"Spoiler alert."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'