Index Chaser T-Shirts

"Dow-Jones Index...Dow-Jones Index..."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

ACME Balloon Company.

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

Remember take time to stop and smell the profits.

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'And right here they merged...'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

"Oh, I can't complain"

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Dragon Graph

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

'And you'll be pleased to notice, sir, that we had to eliminate the top of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

'Our total annual return looks better since photoshop...'

"You additional graphics are totally unnecessary, Phelps."

"Well, now we've seen it."