Income Strategist Gifts

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

'I get an outrageous bonus, but it's never investigation-by-congress-outrageous.'

'I'd like to make enough to become a republican.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Will work for ETFs

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"I just..."

'The recession is over, again.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'Are we broke yet?'

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

Investing your savings

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"Expense account or regular?"

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.