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Politically Correct Super Heroes.

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Dog in casino.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

A Golden Non-Retriever

Winter Weather.

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

"There's someone sleeping in my pew, and she's still there!"

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

Bus for Giraffes.

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

Devil tattoo.

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'

The Tin Man really should have asked the wizard for common sense.

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

JEEZ! Who the hell is drawing you?