In-law Impressor T-Shirts

"It's my parents, for God's sake, Sid. Stand up straight!"

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

Stockwell's day

First Steps

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

'See, Dear? Told you I'd make it fit!'

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

"Mum, Dad... I'd like you to meet my fiance, Goldilocks."

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"Remember, they're just as afraid of you as you are of standing up to your mother."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"He takes after your mother"

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

"Darling, there's an offer for a time-share nest in Florida: Should we apply?"

"It seems like only yesterday we were in the age range advertisers covet."

How human migration got started.

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"