In-law Diplomat T-Shirts

"My mother sends you her remorse."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

Inclusive speech

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

Israel/Palestine Conflict

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

Career Choices

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

Office meeting

Incompatible.

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"If I can't get a firm decision, I'd accept a wobbly acquiescence."

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'