Improvised Interior Designers Gifts

"The boy sure likes it!"

Interior design trends for parents....

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

Man who has called of his engagement because his fiancée did not match his furniture.

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

Superintendent

Duck in a bathtub

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

Open-Plan Psychiatry

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

"Rain or shine, me and you can do fondue!" "I'm ready for some yum!"

"It may not be the hardwood floor we were hoping for, but it's SO much better than that hideous carpeting!"

"Instant coffee? Little plug-in water heater?? This new guy must be a real survivalist!"

'Wait, put that back where it was. Let's see how the scratching post looks in this corner.'

Budget Recliner

I'd love to wallpaper our bedroom, but it's too expensive. Not necessarily. Teddy wallpapered his entire room. What?! D�cor. For the cost of a few dozen movie magazines. And a fortune in scotch tape. Rolling Stone.

We prefer "kitchen surface installers." not "counter-fitters."

The Desert Island Christmas

The War on Architectural Postmodernism

"No, you still look fat."

"Do you know what DFS stands for? Designed for Scratching."

"Our new furniture is a remarkable piece of Japanese technology that changes ambience depending on your mood."

And I did it without any technical plans.

Unfinished furniture.