Impractical Jokesters Mugs

'Yes, I do feel safer, but the key sure is a hassle to carry around.'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

A crab with a utility knife claw

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"You idiots … we lost!"

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'