Imposter Investigator T-Shirts

'Pasta imposter' "Oi! You're not vermicelli, you're cheese string..bugger off!!"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Channelling on the Cheap

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

"Elfis"

Totalitarian Humour

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.