Impossibility Lover Pillows

A shark swims into a desert island.

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

Guitarist: 'We can freely improvise some other time ... now let's practise.' (With Derek it was always jam tomorrow)

Famous Optical Illusions!

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

"Just once, when you bring me a bouquet of flowers can you not pull it from your sleeve?!"

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

Suddenly it occurred to Justin that rose petals might have been more romantic.

Mime Tug-of-War

Space travel

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

'Funny thing is, in an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, this is actually happening!'

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

"Now don't let your concentration move from my hands and the cards. . ."

"You see them huddled outside a lot since the smoke and mirrors ban came in."

Why stocks go up forever.

"I don't get it. I'm playing a legendary jazz musician and the director keeps telling me to stick to the script and stop improvising."

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

Magic Trick

They couldn't Convince Jimmy, the Smoke-Detector Salesman, that he hadn't gone to Heaven

Magician at the Airport

Ah Ha!

"Here she is, the girl of my dreams! We're in love and we're going to get married! And she's made out of boxes!"

'Not as easy as it looks?"

'To be honest Mr Gregson, I've seen better escapologists, goodnight.'

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

'The hair-raising twists and turns, the mystery, numbing assault on the mind...THAT'S why I love tax law!'