Impatient Waiters Pillows

"I hope you don't think that music while I waited soothed me."

"At the tone, the time will be LATER THAN YOU THINK."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Your French dip, sir.'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Diner.

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'A cheeky red?'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'No ice.'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'