Immune System Skeptics Gifts

"Yes, I have allergies! Hundreds! Because my crazy mother kept me in a germ-free house with no pets and I developed zero immunities!"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

We'll have to reproduce fast to defeat the antibodies! I get it! Divide and conquer!

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

Man rides on a vaccine in a sea of COVID-19 molecules.

Doubts about Astrazeneca vaccine

Astrazeneca vaccine pause

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'House calls?...Dr. Latrobe doesn't even make phone calls!'

"Any church that requires a fire hydrant is admitting it's a fraud."

'Well you were warned about the dangers of sedentary lifestyle.'

AstraZeneca Controversy Costs Lives

"I'm hoping for herb immunity."

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"

'Just the same, I KNOW it was the vaccine you gave her.'

'A flu shot? I won't need that I have diplomatic immunity!'

"Foxcroft, your research on the immune system, and the drugs you've come up with are extraordinary. As a result, we're making you a district sales manager."

Ok, so maybe we should cut back on the growth hormones.

If everyone agrees with you, you're probably wrong.

"Now, now sir, you know I can't give you the injection in your 'prosthetic' arm!"

Anti-Vaxxers aren't stupid. They just need to be convinced!

"At least my lawyer got two years more than me."

I don't care if all your friends are going around, you're not going anywhere until your chores are done.

"I prefer a politician who is deeply religious but also doesn’t take any of that nonsense seriously."

'Me? I'm trying to stay one step ahead of white corpuscles and antibiotics.'

Most common side effects...

'Do you ever feel we're having too many inoculations forced on us?'

'OK... But can he play defense?'

"We are both 'godless'. I'm just the one who knows it."

"You don't think I'm cheating on my special, low-carb diet, do you?"

I've had allergies all my life. How about you, Randy? Never, little buddy. HOJ. A speck of pollen once tried to enter my left nostril but was swiftly humbled by my natural defenses. I come from a long line of Randies who were gifted with nose hairs that have the tensile strength of iron and the stopping-power of barbed wire. Word quickly spread from pollen to pollen, and now they never even dare. If Obamacare covers nose-hair transplants, would you be willing ... ?

"Then it struck me - nobody originally on the Paleo Diet lived past 35."

"I hate my gym."

Holy Water