Immediate Satisfaction Seeker Gifts

"I always choose immediate gratification over vague rewards at some unspecified time in the future."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

The bluebird of happiness couldn't make it. I'm the finch of eh, I can't complain.

The Hive, Inc. You mean I'll always be a worker, with no chance of advancement?

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

Job complaints on road signs.

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"Mini-cupcakes never solved anything."

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

"For far too long, we've missed out on the opportunity to profit from our videos."

"We try to treat volunteers like regular members of staff, impossible workloads and no resources."

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

Not only did I flunk my science presentation, it went viral on YouTube!

Greedy child

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

A new study found that people with low expectations are more content.

A triathlon for the lazy and unfit.

"Why, pray, am I not on YouTube?"

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

Returning to reading

"I'm thinking about working on something really big, but for now I'm just happy keeping my plants alive."

'I've given up on looking for the bluebird of happiness. . . I'd settle for the chicken of contentment!'

"Mmmm..choclates thank you Nigel, I just love chocolates"

"I tasted them all to make sure they're good."

"Er! So apart from the crushing workload, lack of support, weak and ineffective management, poor conditions and lack of flexibility was there anything in particular you didn’t like about working here?"

'For a nominal sum I simply pass through your offices every day to show your employees how good they have it.'

Your Sculpture while you wait.

'You'd probably enjoy the chocolate cake, Sir. It's sinfully rich.'