Immature Humor Lovers Pillows

"Josh, whatcha gonna be when you grow up? A doctor? A pharmacist? President?"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Fresh pepper?"

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

So You've Cloned Yourself

"I suppose you think that's funny."

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"My first video sucked. But I figure I've got 8 more chances."

'A bucket and pail would have been enough.'

The Devil making snow angels.

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'

"Stop calling everything Kafka-esque

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

Baby restaurant

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'I think I'll let Goldie do a few lengths in the bath before I get in.'

'When I found iout you are what you eat, well, I'm nuts!'

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

"Who put back an empty jar of formaldehyde?"

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

'We don't discriminate per se - we just don't hire Lyle Lovett lookalikes.'

Trying to rectify the Leaning Tower of Pisa

"That's guy's got 12 personalities...address his bill 'To Whom It May Concern.'"

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

'I love your perfume, what is it?' -'Exhumed!'

"Ordering groceries online can be unpredictable."

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"