Immature Humor Lovers Pillows

"Josh, whatcha gonna be when you grow up? A doctor? A pharmacist? President?"

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"Fresh pepper?"

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

So You've Cloned Yourself

"I suppose you think that's funny."

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

The Devil making snow angels.

'A bucket and pail would have been enough.'

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'

"Stop calling everything Kafka-esque

"Who put back an empty jar of formaldehyde?"

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

Baby restaurant

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

'I think I'll let Goldie do a few lengths in the bath before I get in.'

'When I found iout you are what you eat, well, I'm nuts!'

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

'We don't discriminate per se - we just don't hire Lyle Lovett lookalikes.'

Trying to rectify the Leaning Tower of Pisa

"For Valentine's Day. I thought you might enjoy breakfast in bed."

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

'I love your perfume, what is it?' -'Exhumed!'

Elephant Leak

"Ordering groceries online can be unpredictable."