Imaginary Number Enthusiast Gifts

'Professor Higgenbottom will have the number π and I'll have the number √-i.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

The Life of Pi

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Gloat

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Staff Yearbook

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"Yo, this should be a two."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

Warning: Math Ahead!

"Mine's bigger than yours."

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

'And you'll be pleased to notice, sir, that we had to eliminate the top of the chart.'

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

The United States Public Debt.

Boss. The boss treats me like a number, and not a prime one.

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

Reign Man

How Romans give each other a high five...

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

Consumption Graph.