Illustrated Story Enthusiast Gifts

Martin Meets Montague Tigg in the Pawnbroker's Shop

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Pastries and Candy

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"This is what's known as a book."

Hansel and Gretal

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Jacques et Jille

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Alberich steals the gold

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'