Illusion Ponderer Pillows

'It's a good thing everything is illusory - My keister hurts like crazy!'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"Needs to get a life"

Optimist

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Schrödinger and his cat

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"Oh No!! - I'm deciduous..."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'I say we try it.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"I'll have dessert first."

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Inventing Time Travel

307 days without an accident.

Schrodinger's kittens

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."