Identity Ponderer Pillows

"The best advice I can give you is: 'Be Yourself.'"

'Humphries from accounts seemed so familiar.'

"The beauty of it is that, if you ever look like losing the battle of the sexes, you can switch to the other side."

As Lucanus, a giant bug, awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into Franz Kafka.

Retro-temoral Mailing Lists.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

"I'm tired of being openly gay.I'm seriously considering going back in to the closet."

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

'I'm Anna Nicole Smith. But not THE Anna Nicole Smith!'

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"