Identity Juggler Pillows

'But my friends call me Lefty.'

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"Hey! Aren't you guys those hilarious business twins?"

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One ge

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

Home/work masks.

'My wife and I are both named Leslie...Are there any tax advantages?'

"I see John Smith still has an identity problem."

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

If you're a multiple personality could you spare an identity for an amnesiac?

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Work/Life Balance

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

Information Tightrope.

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

New Ideas in Business.

Overworked

The Communicator

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

'We have to be more innovative but not in an out-of-the-box way.'

Children.

'And Fenwick, those pesky third quarter stats? Don't tweak 'em �' torque 'em!'

"I've learned to compartmentalize my stress."

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

"I, for one, do not enjoy these BYO agenda meetings."

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

Better phone upstairs for the latest figures.