Iconoclastic Diner T-Shirts

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"For drinks or dinner?"

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"Fresh pepper?"

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

Road Kill Cafe.

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Dinner looks delicious."

'It probably wasn't a good idea to ask for seperate cheques.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"Look at these old clothes, Dylan! You know, tie-dye HAS made a comeback!"

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."