Iconoclastic Diner T-Shirts

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"For drinks or dinner?"

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"Fresh pepper?"

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

'It probably wasn't a good idea to ask for seperate cheques.'

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

"Dinner looks delicious."

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

'And for the Queen of Whiny Eaters, two pieces of bologna, cut into quarter-inch squares, coated with Abe's Barbecue Sauce...'

Sorry, that's probably one of mine.

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Look at these old clothes, Dylan! You know, tie-dye HAS made a comeback!"

Road Kill Cafe.