Hypothetical Hero T-Shirts

'Since you conduct only thought experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought results.'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

The Authentic Christmas.

"How are we on bread?"

Yeah, that's mine - My mom puts my name inside my helmet in case it comes off.

"He's retreated into nationalism."

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'I'm sorry. It appears Mr. Mitchell won't be accepting any more information today.'

Planner at work.

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

"Ironically, this all started with a little poke on Facebook."

'He kept his enthusiasm for DIY right up to the end.'

"My family's been working this land for at least 400 years...!"

oh no - here comes the national trust again...

"Hi, Timmy. It's Lassie. She's stuck in the well again."

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

Brown Quixote de la Climate Change

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

"You monster!"

How Scientists Work

'Tell me. Did the 253 internships come before or after the Ph.D in English?'

"O.K. Which one of you worried well is the most worried?"

'Bill got sacked, sleeps on a park bend and eats dog food. He's the most motivational speaker we've ever had.'

A young boy walking in an old man's footsteps

Three Pointless Things to Do This Week: Break into a sweat/Search for the Hero Inside Yourself/Toy with the Idea of Leaving Your Husband or Wife.

"Super! Welcome to Ethnic Studies! Our first lesson...feeling proud of who you are!"

Forty years in the City and never once was I headhunted.

'Yes, sir... Thanks to Officer Parker's self-made cake, we got the guy!'

Achilles' other weakness.