Hypnotism Fan Pillows

"Charming, absolutely charming."

'Besides 'fifteen until one'... what are your deepest thoughts?'

Vampire Day Job - Hypnotherapist

"We're following Carrot Top."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

The Da Vinci Cod

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

You're my Venus

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Hypnotoon

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

"So, how's your other half?"

Turning 'Raw Hype' Into 'Pure Hype'

"No, I'm not asleep, but my foot is."

"Say, why don't we go see the Hopper show at the Whitney?"

Haunted museum

Victor Hugo

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

"I'm not loitering officer, I 'm waiting for the next renaissance!"

Rembrandt's Selfies

'Oh, no! The poltergeist has taken up juggling.'

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

'Vlad, I know it's not your fault that you don't have a reflection but...'

'Your snoring kept me awake all through December!'

"Everyone say 'Hot Ghoul Summer!'"

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

"You know, my unearthly moans are a lot less terrifying when you're chomping a squeaky toy."

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

Yuri Geller as a 7 year old.