Hyperactivity Gifts

'Wow! What energy drink are you on?'

Overjumpers

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

Genius Envy

Exercising

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"I need to clone myself."

Overloaded with extracurricular activities, Griffin's body began to grow an extra brain to cope with it all.

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'He's a real high flyer!'

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

Too big to fail

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

'They're a very successful family.'

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'No ulcers shows me you haven't reached your full potential.'

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."

Time for sports camp, Teddy. Let's go! Unghhh � I thought you hated all the sports craziness. Summer camps avoid the worst problems. I forget. Parent's aren't allowed. Heaven on earth.

'How many kids do you actually have?'

Ladder of success"...Perhaps, you'd like our economy model."

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

"This has been a productive homework session!"

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

"You promised to stop bringing your work home."

Office Task Map

Fetching, rolling over, playing dead, sitting up

"Your internship is finally over. You're now required to work longer hours with no extra pay."

We've been busy today, Ernie! And all because we followed Ted's suggestions! First he told us to go fly a kite. That was fun! Next, he told us to take a hike. It was beautiful. Then he said we should go pound sand and now he wants us to jump in a lake! Best day ever!