Hydration Fan Pillows

'It just got ugly. Ed from I.T. drank the entire water cooler and he wasn't even thirsty!'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Filet minion

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

'Tough day at the office! Somebody broke the water cooler!'

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"There! Now let's hear no more noise about wanting a glass of water!"

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

'I love it when it's windy and we do a Mexican wave!'

'Do you have bottled spring water?'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'