Humorous Workers Pillows

A Man Recieving His Wages.

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

Group of people.

"I've been kept on hold so often, I'm really developing a taste for easy listening music."

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'Its simple: we're the nanotechnology department.'

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

'Sorry to interrupt, but what's a coffee break?'

Bureau of Missing Persons, "He works flextime and we have direct deposit, so it took me a few months to notice he was gone."

"I now represent both death and taxes."

Warlord

Thinking outside the box.

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Work Safety - Chemicals.

"It happened either over the weekend or when I left the office today for lunch."

Personnel,' Possible candidates'-'That'll be the day'.

On reflection I think I could have coped with just 340 degree feedback.

Economy - 'And this is where you took the day off to watch the cricket.'

'Andrews, a parking space will be assigned to you in a day or two.'

"I apologize, sir, but I'm having trouble finding a technician willing to come out and remove the insidious fire creature from your computer."

Very well, Mr Potter. I blinked first. You're hired.

Of course the teasts are complete nonsense but we're working on the basis that anyone who can be bothered to complete all 148 of them must be highly motivated...

"Briggs is running our stress at work assessment."

The Contract Culture: 'Jump.'

Maybe you'd get more work done if you uninstalled that fish tank screensaver.'

"A 'take charge' guy would be nice but I'm looking for more of the 'take blame' type."

'My trick for avoiding extra work is to look busy all the time...'