Humorous Workers Pillows

A Man Recieving His Wages.

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

"I've been kept on hold so often, I'm really developing a taste for easy listening music."

Group of people.

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'Its simple: we're the nanotechnology department.'

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

Thinking outside the box.

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'Sorry to interrupt, but what's a coffee break?'

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

Warlord

Bureau of Missing Persons, "He works flextime and we have direct deposit, so it took me a few months to notice he was gone."

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Work Safety - Chemicals.

...and this was that really cute kitty cat video on YouTube.

On reflection I think I could have coped with just 340 degree feedback.

"It happened either over the weekend or when I left the office today for lunch."

Personnel,' Possible candidates'-'That'll be the day'.

Economy - 'And this is where you took the day off to watch the cricket.'

"I apologize, sir, but I'm having trouble finding a technician willing to come out and remove the insidious fire creature from your computer."

Of course the teasts are complete nonsense but we're working on the basis that anyone who can be bothered to complete all 148 of them must be highly motivated...

Very well, Mr Potter. I blinked first. You're hired.

'Andrews, a parking space will be assigned to you in a day or two.'

"Briggs is running our stress at work assessment."

The Contract Culture: 'Jump.'

Maybe you'd get more work done if you uninstalled that fish tank screensaver.'

"A 'take charge' guy would be nice but I'm looking for more of the 'take blame' type."