Humorous Psychologist Mugs

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

A child as a pet substitute.

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Some scents are nonsense.

"I owe all my success to the psychiatrist who gave me the word GREED as my mantra!"

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

“Children hate me.”

"I knew you'd understand."

'Whatever it is, I didn't do it.'

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

'All those against, raise your hand. All those in favor of ice cream, scream.'

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

Sensory confusion syndrome.

"And how long have you had this superiority complex?"

"You only said clean up anything we spill. I threw that."

'I'm worried, Master has suddenly developed a morbid obsession: He asks me to play dead all the time now...'

'Here is my proposal for making our department more efficient. It contains some of my best cognitive distortions.'

Therapist giggling behind patient's back.

"Everything points to your having a mid-death crisis."

'Let me know when you find it difficult to speak.'

"Hi, I'm Kevin and I'll be your server tonight...but I guess you already knew that!"

Swiss Referendum

Saturday was fantasy dysfunctional relationship day.

"Then just when I thought all my marriage problems were over, he started breathing again!"

Santa's chimney climbing is a fixation with mothers womb

'You don't have any problems that can't be resolved with a lot of patience, understanding, perseverance and 60 thousan dollars.'