Humorous Planning Pillows

"I might just get a pie."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Sign Reform

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

'My philosophy is that the bigger you are, the smaller the desk you need.'

"It's a game where we roll the dice to see which destination wedding we should spend our savings on this year."

A signaller directing pallbearers

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'I hate to rush you, but I'm getting a leg cramp.'

Witch uses broom from broom share program.

No Nesting

Don't walk on the grass.

"… and then Roger discovered fly fishing and I discovered Gregory."

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

"Here's 15 cents. I assume you'll go into debt one day putting me through college, so this will take some of the guilt off my conscience."

Take up karate and learn how to break bricks with your cast.

Paint Ball shop has artists painting balls.

'The Mayor is going to be thrilled -- I found a way to fill potholes with toxic waste!'

"I hear you're worth a fortune."

It was his final wish.

"We need a vacation..."

Woman uses drone flip flop to squash a bug.

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

You want to watch it here, a lot of back-stabbing goes on.

"I thought about what you said and I've outlined a plan."

"I was going to discuss procrastination today, but I'm feeling rather tired. Maybe we could finish this off next week."

'It's a new idea - a cell phone booth, where people can talk privately without disturbing others.'

Old Cheltem, Cheltem, New Cheltem, New Improved Cheltem.

'Hello, I'm the city tax appraiser and it has come to our attention that you have added a bird house to your yard.'

"Sorry Rudolph, I got some new LED lights..."

'Do me a favor, next time you want to go golfing in the city, count me out.'

'Parking is always such a problem in this town.'

'Hmmm... right, Wednesday, I've got 10:00 available...' - '...or I could reschedule my submissive at 11:00... yeah...' - 'Yeah... it's fine... no... he'll take it like a good little worm... ha, ha... okay... bye!'

'It's just embarrassing - someone steals my identity and improves my credit rating!'