Humorous Holiday Planner Pillows

"Sorry Rudolph, I got some new LED lights..."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Airlines

Claus 2.0

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Night of the Latkes

High security Santa's grotto

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

That one has all the batteries!

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"Ninja bread men"

Hiding the electronics.

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Mr. Punch in Venice

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Non-Denominational Carols

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Fish snorkling above water.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'