Humorous Media Enthusiast Gifts

Jane Chastain

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Police Feline Unit

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"They grow up so fast."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Faster, Georges, faster!

Speed Dating for Turtles

Selling lemon latt�

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"