Humorous Horticulture T-Shirts

"You've just raided your last patch!"

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'So much for talking to plants. I distinctly heard it tell me to shut up!'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Bonsai Exhibit

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Plants to Avoid - Creeping Wallenda

Hose and Flower in Perfect Harmony.

"Your roots are showing."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"I dread these W.I. meetings

Garden Shop: Pig $#!@ and Sheep $#!@

Square Yard

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

'Grow you son of a bitch!'

Annuals - Perennials - Eternals

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

Snail to Slug.

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

Super Plant Food.

"I've discovered why it isn't cutting the grass properly - it's a vacuum cleaner."

Mystery vegetable growing in plot.

'Try not to sit still for too long dear, the convulvulus is really rather virulent.'

Gardener digging a flower bed over the croquet lawn.