Humorous Hero Gifts

Supersonic comic: 'A funny thing happened on the way here...'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

Man fishing with large bait

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

"Wow, what are the chances of that four letter word being in your alphabet soup?"

Destiny is all...

Introverted Chair

Technical specifications: semi-automatic 1.2 mm cartoon launcher. 7.5 inch barrels holds a full stick of graphite. Fires rounds of sarcasm, satire and spoofs. Takes out religious fanatics with sharp wit.

"You look good for your age."

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

Overworked doctors in need of sleep

Blake's Sealant.

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

"Take it easy - that one's attached to my nipple."

"Someone put something rude about me in the suggestion box. Our corporate forensic scientist is analyzing fingerprints, DNA and security video as we speak."

"Sorry I'm late for your birthday. I'm running a little behind."

"I thought you said there's nothing significant in the paper anymore..."

A Cave Painting

Adam and Eve

Exclamation road sign says 'OMG'

Though it has never been proven, no one has ever denied that Abraham Lincoln had heat vision. Hmmm....

"Did the Earth Move For You ?"

"Okay, but I'd like a charity receipt for my taxes."

"Too Marvel?"

"Before you do that, let me check the extinction date."

THE WILKINSON SWORD AND THE STONE

'Dear diary, went to the beach again today.'

"BACK FIEND! Take your damned bill and go back from whence you came!"

"I'm terrible at small talk. Just scan me."

Cape