Humorist With Taste T-Shirts

Honest Vending

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Clown on bike.

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'Damn, I'm out of earshot!'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"Roadkill cookies"

'Like you, I don't know why they feed us every day, but as long as they do it, I'll stay...'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

300 cows in a field...grazing!

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

Yet another creepy clown sighting...

Holy Macaroni,