Humorist With A Paintbrush T-Shirts

'I'm an artistic genius, I bet no-one has ever painted a plain old bowl of fruit.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

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The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'I love these afternoon jam sessions.'

Gustav Holst

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"It's obviously an original."

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

'Stupido Digitale! Chucka me a sloppy brush, there's a gooda chap.'

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

"The recipe? Well, there's lentils, garlic, tofu, and a pinch of our illegal secret ingredient."

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'