Humorist With A Love For Reptiles T-Shirts

Crocodile House

The Rooster Comedian.

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"Too much concealer?"

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

Chicken soup for the sole.

'Pray for me.'

Giraffe Portrait

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Crow and fox

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

The polar bear's vending machine.

"Man, what I wouldn't do for one of those free-range meals right now."

"Would you thrive in a hostile work environment?"

Alligator Bars

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

'I don't see how you can breathe through that thing - it's so small!'

"Mating display of the white-bellied boobie"