Humorist With A Love For Reptiles T-Shirts

Crocodile House

The Rooster Comedian.

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Too much concealer?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Pray for me.'

Giraffe Portrait

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

Crow and fox

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Would you thrive in a hostile work environment?"

Alligator Bars

The polar bear's vending machine.

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

'I don't see how you can breathe through that thing - it's so small!'

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

"Mating display of the white-bellied boobie"

'It feels like two hours of my life is missing.'