Humorist On The Hunt Pillows

Shakespeare Ave

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

Bob's Driving School.

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Inflatable Duck Boat

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

This castle manager job better be for real.

Mouse real estate!

'Anybody who has a life, gets more work.'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'One carry-on!'

'Can I see your license,please?'

"Number four wasn't bad, at least he removed his personal CD earphones for most of the interview."

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'Point of clarification, sir. Are you still in charge, or have you ceded power to your sock puppet?'

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

The team wondered if he would ever fit in.

"Could you explain this 2500 year gap in your resume?"

"My client alleges attempted hit, run and bbq."

'Well, what about the two month gap in my reume? I fell into my sofa at home.'

Guru Shifted Thinking

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

'There's a fee for each carry-on bag, including your bag of chips.'

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

'Don't worry about your daughter Sir: I'll find us a dump to live in...'

'Well, I'm glad you two share a sense of humor.'

Trap set by bear to catch hunter.

'Your resume is very impressive. We can't hire you but we don't want you to get away, so we're going to lock you in a closed for six months.'

'Don't worry, Finnegan... it doesn't matter how you answer the questions in a job interview. Every time they ask you something, just tilt your head sideways in that adorable way you do and they'll be putty in your hands...'

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'