Humorist In Politics Gifts

United States Government Pumpkin

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

They're Not Just That Into It

UK/US Free Trade Deal

No-Work Orange

Reagacentennial

Trump! The Musical

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"Beware of Don"

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

Trump Will Protect Obama's Legacy

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

Uncle Donnie

John F. Kennedy

"Look! Other people. We'll have to develop a foreign policy!"

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

"Possible exception to Prince William's proposed halt on space travel." proposed halt on space travel."

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'

'This conspiracy theory nonsense MUST end. Any suggestions?'

"I'm the worst president ever...the best!"