Humorist Harvester Pillows

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'The circle is complete!'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Garden variety allergies."

Burnout Syndrome...

Spot Quiz....

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

Soccer coach of the year.

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

"Apple harvest."

"Nasty sunburn."

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

Wall Street...

"Namasteak"