Humorist Harvester Pillows

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'The circle is complete!'

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

Spot Quiz....

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Burnout Syndrome...

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

Soccer coach of the year.

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

"Apple harvest."

"Nasty sunburn."

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

Milkjet Skiing

'Camel'