Humor-loving Healers Pillows

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

Self help acupuncture

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

'My doctor told me avoid any unnecessary stress, so I didn't visit him today.'

"When you're ready, I'm going to stand on my hind legs, and lick it better."

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

Psychiatric Clinic. I'm not sure giving a narcissist an hour a week where it's all about him counts as therapy.

"I knew you'd understand."

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

Bog of depression.....'Can I come in ?'

Oh, oh... I detect traces of tree nuts... where's my epipen?

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

"Let the healing begin!"

"Ok, here's another one about antibiotics. . ."

"Race you to the spleen!"

"It's cooties."

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

"Then just when I thought all my marriage problems were over, he started breathing again!"

"I believe doctors write too many prescriptions, Mr. Martin. I'm writing you a sonnet."

'Thanks for not letting cancer define who you are.'

'The swelling well receed in a few days and the racket should slide right off.'

'It's hop,hop,skip,rattle,rattle. Remember, the second rattle is the difference between curing jungle fever or just relieving the patient of uncomfortable gas.'

Get well soon.