Humor In Healthcare Fan Pillows

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

The importance of paying attention in med school.

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Snap out of it.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

'You need some stress.'

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

An allergist sneezing

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

Flu Drugs.

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."