Health Care Humor Fans Pillows

'...take 2 aspirin and call me in the morning.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"I don't leave home without it!"

The importance of paying attention in med school.

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Snap out of it.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"I didn't say he's dying from choking. I said he's killing us with his joking."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

'You need some stress.'

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

Fish swimming around inside drip.

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'