Humor In Arrogance T-Shirts

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'

Champagne at the hunt

"There goes the person that proved the Peter principal faster than anyone in history."

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"We're not admitting any wrong doing, but we've agreed to pay a ten Zillion dollar fine.''

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

"It's perfect."

Sign Shop

'That's quite a bit you're inheriting. I suppose you realize this will force you to start learning about wine.'

Damnation without relief means there is no Ladies Room.

"Oh, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, sir."

Shoveling Snow

"Of course, it's a very early Rembrandt."

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

'We plan to introduce bodychecking and fistfights to the game.'

I say if life gives you tapens, make tapenade.

"Let's play CEO's and regulators."

Three doors labelled 'CEO', 'CFO', and 'Eee Yi Eee Yi Oh'.

"Do you have anything fit for a King?"

"It's best just to leave them alone - Over the years, they've come to regard themselves as an elite group of drunks."

"Goodness gracious no, I didn't go to a public puppy-school: I went to an elite private puppy-school..."