Humor Horticulturist Pillows

Gardener's Calendar: Keep an eye open for pests

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'So much for talking to plants. I distinctly heard it tell me to shut up!'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Bonsai Exhibit

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

Hose and Flower in Perfect Harmony.

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'